I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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