His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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