chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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