I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
