He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
