her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
