The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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