11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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