roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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