the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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