Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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