this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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