Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
