apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
