Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
