i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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