Where did you get a picture of my penis
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
