It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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