Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
