I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
