I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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