the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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