weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
