I wanna bring you to show and tell
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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