I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
