My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
