I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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