dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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