Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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