Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
