He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
