you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
