am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
