The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
