Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
