I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
