It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
