she was so not down for the gang bang
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
