whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it's like iHOP with fire
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
