I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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