and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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