Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
