According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The ass gains better be worth it
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