i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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