you guys were way drunker than both of me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
