The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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