D3 body, D1 cock
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
