Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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