I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Boobs are out for the taking
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is my gift to your gina
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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