Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She said her name was "party"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
